1. Two times a week, we go to a nice
restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in
separate beds.
Hers is in California and
mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife
everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her
way back.
4. I asked my wife where
she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I
haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric
blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too
many gadgets and no place
to sit down!" .. So I
bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car
wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was;
she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and
looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the
garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" ... The driver
said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is
the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her
first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my
wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt
her.
13. The last fight was my
fault though.
My wife asked "What's on
the TV?" I said "Dust!" |
Red as "Freddie The
Freeloader."
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